Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
