He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I want to be your penis for a week.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
