I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
