I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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