508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
