i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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