Nicole vs. Life
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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