Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
