So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
