dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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