I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
