OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
