dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
