Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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