4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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