She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
