I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
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The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize