If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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