No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
