I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
