o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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