I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
