I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
