And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
