There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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