I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize