Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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