I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
