lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
