So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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