My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize