I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
