Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
FUCK WHALES
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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