i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
