I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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