I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
