this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
