Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
