Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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