just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize