my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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