I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
