HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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