Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize