You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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