so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
