I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
