he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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