Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
