how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize