she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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