i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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