halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
