Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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