ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
