He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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