We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Let's get the cat blown out
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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