first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize