Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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