i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
PANTIES FOUND
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